I have Karl and David here with us for a few days and Tim is coming over this afternoon. Although I say it myself, they are gorgeous.
Yesterday I saw a counsellor and although that was exhausting and quite traumatic, I think it was good for me. She says I am trying too hard too early to be accepting. So sleeping and hiding in a book is ok. She also said that my grief/depression/shock is a result of an accumulation of things - too many face operations, losing baby Alex and watching the family suffer, and now, as it seems, some bad frightening news every time I go to the Dr.
So, I am to allow myself to do whatever I feel like and not feel guilty. Escaping from reality is ok - talking books, movies, medication and lovely friends. Anything to get from this minute to next Wednesday's trip to hospital.
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