Each day, I vow to be positive. I begin with positive reading and mediation (of a sort), and even yoga for the last two days, then get about being busy.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
Yesterday, I was thoroughly occupied helping Di collate books in Wodonga. Then by some stroke of good luck (providence, angel intervention?), I spent 2.5 hours playing recorder with one of my recorder buddies (Suzanne) before coming home with Di. So the way I see it each evening is "that's one day over with".
Today has been black. I started reading a Buddhist book, "The Way it is" by Ajahn Sumedho. The words that jumped out at me:
Whatever diseases I may get, or tragedies or catastrophes or successes or the best to the worst, one can say that this is the way it is. And in there is acceptance and non-anger, non-greed and the ability to cope with life as it's happening.....
... Don't worry that it might change for the worse. Whatever way it changes, we have the wisdom to adapt to it.
....We're are always endangered, there's always something to be worried about, something to be frightened of. But when that illusion is punctuated with wisdom, then there is fearlessness; we see this as a journey, a transition from the sensory realm and we are willing to learn the lessons it teaches us, no matter what those lessons might be.
I am not writing this to convert you to Buddhism! I am writing it because I believe this wisdom and maybe writing it will make it go to my heart and not only to my intellect. Why oh why can I not be like a serene Buddhist.
Instead, I have dragged myself from one job to the other, feeling ever so low, with the odd tear dropping. It is 4.39pm - the day is nearly over - how wrong is that thinking! Maybe tomorrow will be better.
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