Another day

I woke this morning capable of reading and listening to my meditation tape. Some thoughts:
On the seven levels of illusion (Chopra), the first only seems to fit me.
Problems created by fear, anger, and other negative impulses.

Some bits that  jumped up at me:
Almost all of my energy is directed at survival. At this level I want to lash out and blame others(no I don't - just life in general). I feel frustrated that the situation is happening. Everything seems out of control............ I am stuck at this level, feel helpless, victimised, paralysed, lost, or in need of guidance from those who are stronger than me. Weakness dominates my response.

The solution:
Feel the negative response, but don't trust it. Move beyond fear and anger. Ask for guidance. Make no decisions until you feel balanced and clear once more. Haste is your enemy. Impulse control is your ally.

Coffee chat with Keith
The facts I know:

• my type of cancer is mostly curable
• from my memory of GROW wisdom, therefore, my cure is not certain, bit it is probable and most likely 

My recent experience;

• 9/10 people who are recalled for a second mammogram do not have cancer - I was the 1/10
• I am not sure of the statistics many people who have the biopsy also do not have cancer - I am one of the few who missed out on the good news.
• My trips to the skin specialist over the last few years almost always end up needing face operations for basal cell cancer.

So, it is hard to believe the logic that Keith reminds me of -  that none of these past experiences have relevance for this next one. Was never too good at logic.

Take baby steps, Heather said. 

Take one day at a time, say the Twelve Steps of AA, Grow etc. 

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself" (Matthew 6;34)

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” 
― Gautama Buddha