Alison and Molly Visit

Alison and Molly came down for a week to help us manage the radiation trips and to give us some joy.

We (A,M & I) stayed at Kaye's twice and took advantage of Kaye's heated spa and her kindness.  Don't know what we would do without her

I have had 9 treatments and apart from feeling a bit drained sometimes, I am not suffering any side effects yet. I had a  appointment with my radiation oncologist and wish I had not opened my mouth about integrative oncology. He told me about people who had changed their diet etc and died anyway. I plunged down into mild depression for a bit and had to be reminded that doctors don't know everything, only their special area and he is a radiation specialist.

I am being diligent about many things, such as juicing vegetables daily, drinking lots of green tea, eating more fish, eating 2 bits of dark chocolate daily, walking 9000 steps per day (trying to do 10,000) and meditating for 30 minutes.
We are enjoying a weekend of no radiation and no trip to town. It is so good to have Al and Molly with us. By the way, Al has a fly net over her head in the photo near our house.

That's it for this week.

Pamper Day and Update

I have had 4 radiation treatments and have survived. Spent two nights in town with Kaye. Together we have kept up daily Pilates and half an hour or more daily walking. I managed to do half an hour of meditation and drink a glass of fresh vegetable juice every day. This is the way I a trying to get through this with as few problems as possible. I am also taking some recommended supplements.

Yesterday I went to a Mt Beauty Cancer Pamper Day. It was free aromatherapy, reflexology and good food. There was also a free expert fitting for a very expensive bra, towards which the Government contributed $50 for each of the 12 women.

It was a good day with lovely people. I was surprised that I managed to have my feet massaged etc - I am usually so ticklish and people who touch my feet have to beware.

And now for another week of radiation. The good news is that Alison and Molly arrive tomorrow afternoon. I can't wait.

One down, 29 to go.

I survived first radiation treatment. As you know I wasn't worried about the procedure - it is the effect of procedures I was concerned about. However, I am clinging to the ability of my body to heal. 

I am staying with Kaye tonight and we will both go out to Keith tomorrow  after treatment. 

Thinking - Feeling

" The quieter I can make my mind, the more I can perceive the link between my thoughts and how I feel....   ...Having a quiet mind gives me a peaceful life and helps others around me choose peaceful, serene, effective lives for themselves" (Dr Wayne W Dyer).

After having a great "fun" holiday, I came home to my reality and for a couple of days, I was very "down", wanting to go to sleep for a very long time. Again, I resorted to a self-help book, one that I borrowed from the Theosophy library. Amongst other wise suggestions, I read again the sensible truths about the connection between thinking and feeling.

So, what is wrong with my thinking? I know that radiation and drugs are recommended, but I was not sure it was right. It might be overkill (supported by quite a lot of studies). The consequences of these treatments brings with them unwanted side effects and as far as I thought, would further contaminate my body.

I went off to the local exercise group this morning and talked to a few of my supportive friends.

Di came up with the first thought that somehow I had not considered. Our bodies heal themselves. Cuts heal, bones mend, new cells are continually produced. Now why had I not considered this. I have even read books by cell scientists. Ruth (former nurse) said - fill your body with rich nutrients. Well I have already started to work hard on this.

The Online Integrative Oncologist also points out the other things that I am going to try to adhere to - rest, meditation, exercise, cutting back on stress and losing a little bit more weight etc.

Di lifted my thinking so that all the other things fell into place. Ruth enforced it and Judy and Wendy who joined me for a local barista coffee were also helpful.

I can cope now. My thinking is straightened again and I feel more positive. Please remind me if/when I go "down" again.

Thanks for the emails and messages of love and support. If people get better as a result of care, love, and support, then I am the luckiest.

Two Old Ladies on Holiday

Kaye and I travelled to Griffith by train and bus today - for $2.50 each. Here we are in the Victoria Hotel and here is the Main Street, extra wide, trees down the middle. We have wined and dined here in the hotel. Here's to a fun day tomorrow. 

Searching for the Positives and More on the Cost of Treatment

I have been busy researching the things I can do to help myself conquer this disease. So far I have decided on:

•  daily fresh and wherever possible organic vegetable juice. 
• more organic fruit and veg
• curcumin and mushroom extract capsules. 
• I have to decrease my dairy intake because cows milk, as I should have realised, contains lots of oestrogen, although the oestrogen is in the fat, so skimmed dairy products are not so bad. Sheep and goats' milk are not as bad as cow's milk. Soy milk and tofu are ok. Almond and hazlenut milk are also good. (Just so you know how important the oestrogen factor is - my type of cancer feeds on it.)
• More fish
• If I do eat a little meat - only grass fed - again other beasts are fed hormones (oestrogen etc) and other doubtful stuff. The advice is to mostly avoid meat. (Tim - your organic, grass fed lamb is very acceptable).

For the rest, our diet seems to be pretty good, according to the Integrative Oncology research. I still have the other modules to do - exercise, spirituality, relaxation, stress management. It is quite time consuming to study. 

I was getting rid of some old newspapers and saw an article entitled "Breast Cancer Patients complain of high cost of Treatment". One thing I am grateful for is that I am an old pensioner - if I wasn't, the medication for the next ten years could be almost $6,000. At least one of mine will be $6.10 per month. Hopefully the next one will also be on "the list". Radiation is not covered by my health fund, - it is a Medicare issue, so I pay the gap. The full weekly cost is almost $3000. Apparently we will be over the safety net, so ONLY have to pay 10% of the full cost - $280. 

I have been told that if we lived in Melbourne, the cost would be nothing at Peter McCallum. Equity? There is a huge new Cancer Centre being built at Albury Base Hospital. I wonder whether that will be different - too late for me.

So most of the time, I am concentrating on all this positive stuff. Every now and then I think - all this effort could be for nothing - but I quickly banish the thought. I have to do my best.

Tomorrow is my holiday with Kaye. I will be back at Albury on Friday afternoon and home Saturday morning. More about this next blog.

Choices.

This morning on awaking, i did one of Tim's mindfulness meditation cd's. I was led to observe the thoughts as they came and went. What kept coming up were the stern unsmiling words of one of the radiation nurses on Thursday, after she told me that there would be no "deep breathing organ saving" type radiation".

Nurse: "Well, do we go ahead?"
Me: "What choice do I have?"
Nurse: "It's always your choice" (said 3 times)

For sure I do - mastectomy, radiation + drugs, or a high risk of a returning, fast growing cancer. It honestly made me want to slap her unsmiling face. For all the positive thinking reading, meditation attempts etc I am still angry. Most medical people I am dealing with are kind, full of empathy and understanding - thankfully.

Today, I will steadily take myself through household jobs, hopefully some Japanese and Welsh and definitely the daily post-operative Pilates. Cousin Noellene will arrive - and I can't wait to see her. Tonight, we are going over to Tim's for an early celebration of Tim's birthday.  I just have to hold it together today.

Just so you know I am not completely hopeless, yesterday afternoon after a nasty "down crying" session, I took a valium and went to bed. Then I got up and steered the ride-on-mower over almost all the grass!! Alison sent me an sms "Bravo!"

Thanks to Diana for phoning me at the right moment yesterday afternoon. You are such a help.

Cancer is only for the Rich

Yesterday, I got measured up, tattooed and also was given a "payment plan". The fortnightly cost of my radiation will be more than half a Senior pension. That is the gap between the full cost and the Medicare contribution. Too bad if you don't have any extra income of any sort. I am lucky CSU still gives me a bit. I guess the very poor have radiation but no food for 6 weeks

Again, I found the whole thing emotionally upsetting. Firstly, I don't like going there. It takes every bit of self discipline to take my shaky legs into the building.  Secondly I was told that although they have the new machine for "Deep Breathing Radiation" (where they are able to dodge heart and lungs (only the lung part affects me), they are not using it yet. So, my radiation will slightly scar my lung. I felt a deep disapointment.

The "care" nurse I saw first was very nice to me - too nice - the tears almost came. Then the radiation nurse told me the news about "no new machine". Next,  the doctor came in  to check they had the right spots for the tattoos. He looked at me and said "you look like you need to say something to me but can't. You look like you are going to cry".  So of course, the tears started to flow.  I saw him later and he was very comforting - told me that they would do their best to miss as much of my lung as possible. He also said that many of his patients take valium to get in the door ever day. I am not on any medication at the moment - between antidepressants and no valium because I was driving. I tied the Bach Flower remedy but it was not powerful enough.

Kaye came with me for support and afterwards we had lunch and a much needed coffee. Then we booked our train tickets for our little holiday. That will be next week, so I will tell you about that later.

Last night, we had Jan and Grant for the night and they have just left. It was so lovely to have our loving friends here. So now it is Friday and I am ok. Think I will try to get on the ride on and cut those lawns again.

Busy Good Day

Today was a full and positive experience. It started with my glass of fresh veggie juice and Bircher muesli with our own home grown berries. Pilates came next at My Beauty. I just had time for a bread roll and banana and it was time for my Japanese conversation lesson. Then home to wash and catch up with my uni emails, a quick dinner and I was off to wodonga for a Theosophy lecture. 

Finally I have come to Jenni's for a sleepover. Tomorrow will be a bit nerve wracking but I have my trusty Bach Flower Remedy and Kaye to sit and wait at the hospital for Tattoo day- will explain tomorrow. 

Today

I just emailed Irene and told her that today is one of those days when I want to say "bugger" so I thought I would share it with you all, being very generous.

Yesterday I read this:

Don’t bewail and bemoan.

Don’t waste yourself in rejection, or bark against the bad,

But chant the beauties of the good.”

So, I had better be this angel instead.

Integrative Oncology

This week I have been researching to see what I can do to help myself survive the invasion of radiation and drugs. I found lots of things. Many natural complimentary therapies suggest similar things, one very common idea being to drink fresh vegetable juices daily. We bought a slow juicer and tried today. I found my kale/brocholi/celery/carrot/apple/pear drink quite delicious.

I also found a site called Integrative Oncology, run by an American Radiation Oncologist. He suggests a holistic approach that includes, diet, exercise, stress management, etc I am studying his ideas. I also found lots of the same subject in Australia, so have plenty to work on.

This is helping me feel that I have some control over what is happening to me. I can do things to minimise the effect of the toxins from radiation and drugs.

I am in the process of changing from one antidepressant to another, a process of 18 days and that seems to make me nervy and shaky but apart from that I am doing fine.