I just read my last posts and I can't believe I was writing so positively some of the time.
It has been a very special time having Dave and Al's family here with us. There have been moments of hilarity, especially between Dave and Scott, and moments of sheer joy with the children. I can't really write about it much as I am having a really really bad day.
They have all gone. I am cleaning up, washing etc while the tears roll.
Last night, Keith, Scott and most particularly Alison, help me unpack the parcels I had received from the Breast Cancer organisation. The sight of them had been very upsetting to me. I looked, and now they are packed up again because I don't want to see the stuff in the boxes.
Al asked me what my fears were. There are many and I could tearfully talk about them last night but I can't write about them yet. None of the support offered to me is available this week, but my physio who runs my Pilates class is giving me an hour tomorrow to help me move my muscles and get back to my exercise regime. I seem to have lost my motivation and joy.
Tomorrow night we have to go to the big Launch of Keith's book and the Picnic Races on Saturday. What should feel like exciting events fill me with horror.
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